Read part of my story, and rate it?

I absolutely loved it!!! The begining really caught me up in the story and I really want to read more! I did think it was a little like HP though, lol. The begining, from my point of view, did seem a little choppy at first but by the time I noticed it you seemed to have fixed the problem a little more into the story. I really liked how you made it as if one of the men in the dark coats seemed emotionally tied to the woman. And by the way, I'm also 13 and I LOOVVEEE to write!