Does he have unrealistic expectations of me (his wife)?

You need to have your side of your family and friends around. Invite them over whether he likes it or not. He is living his life the way he wants - you need to start living your life the way you want. Obviously you are the responsible one so you can't drop all of your responsibilities. But you can find time to do things in your life that makes YOU happy. I feel bad for your children. It's sad that they do not have a good role model in their father.